Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion.

nowadays proportion of computer consumption in
education
grow up significantly so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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we are unable to separate that from literacy. in
this
essay, I intend to analyse both sides of
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
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happen
Wrong verb form
happening
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.
also
, it seems to me that
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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aspects of them are far more. on the one hand, there are those who subscribe to
this
view that there are
a
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apply
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highly beneficial to developing teaching with IT especially, computers. from
this
point of view, they insist that
this
phenomenon is able to improve
quality
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the quality
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of
education
with a wide variety of equipment,
such
as tutorial clips. eventually, in some cases, it
replace
Change the verb form
replaces
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in-person
education
with
online
Add an article
an online
the online
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course .
moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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huge number of students are willing to
training
Change the verb
train
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with
this
educational assistant.
furthermore
, in
this
way the students
is
Change the verb form
are
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becoming familiar with computers and new technology
consequently
,
this
ability will a decisive factor for advancement in science.
on the other hand
, many commentators justifiably argue there are some drawbacks
in
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to
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this
occur
Replace the word
occurrence
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. from an educational perspective, they are prone to divert from
main
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the main
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subject during
this
type of
education
and maybe engage pupils
to
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in
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other work.
for example
, sometimes students during study open other pages or play
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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during their tutorial.
As a
result
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,result
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they notion it is disruptive of
education
.
however
Add a comma
,however
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I don't find
this
argument valid because there are several ways to protect pupils from these disadvantages by monitoring
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each student during training. in conclusion, I strongly agree its positive aspects are noticeable and
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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of that are overweight.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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