IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that students should be required to do unpaid community service as a part of their school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many believe that incorporating unpaid
community
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service
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 into the school curriculum would be beneficial for
students
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. I completely agree with
this
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 idea, as it fosters social responsibility, enhances
students
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' interpersonal
skills
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, and prepares them for real-world challenges.
Firstly
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, engaging in
community
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service
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instills
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instils
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 a sense of social responsibility among
students
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. When young individuals actively participate in volunteering, they develop empathy and a deeper understanding of societal issues.
For example
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,
students
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 who help at local shelters or environmental clean-up projects become more aware of the struggles faced by different communities and are more likely to contribute positively to society in the future.
Moreover
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, volunteering provides an excellent opportunity for
students
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 to improve their communication and teamwork
skills
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. Many
community
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 projects require collaboration, negotiation, and problem-solving, all of which are essential
skills
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 for professional success. A study by Harvard University found that
students
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 who participated in
community
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service
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 programs demonstrated higher levels of leadership and adaptability compared to those who did not.
Lastly
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, integrating unpaid work into education prepares
students
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 for real-life challenges. By stepping out of their academic environment and engaging with diverse individuals, they become more resilient and adaptable.
For instance
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,
students
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 who work with elderly citizens in nursing homes develop patience and emotional intelligence, which are invaluable life
skills
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. In conclusion, requiring
students
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 to engage in unpaid
community
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service
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 as part of their curriculum is highly beneficial. It nurtures social responsibility, enhances interpersonal
skills
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, and equips them with essential life experiences. Schools should,
therefore
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, incorporate
such
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 programs to ensure holistic student development.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the overall flow of the essay. This will keep the reader engaged and improve the rhythm of your writing.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, you could benefit from adding even more specific instances or statistics related to community service to strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and thoroughly addresses the prompt, which shows a strong understanding of task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, and each paragraph is well-developed, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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