Do advantages of the Internet outweigh its disadvantages ?[423]
Information
technology
has fantastically come over as a breath of fresh air in people
’s lives. It cannot be denied that the benefits IT brings about are so wondrous. Yet I still firmly believe that the drawbacks of technology
outweigh the positives of it. I will provide relevant reasoning and evidence to support my stance.
On the one hand, there are second pros to the appearance of technology
. First and foremost, technology
gives a chance to highly improved communication. In the world of business and education, video conferencing has enabled people
to exchange ideas despite geographical boundaries. Besides
, for people
who are physically disabled or simply too busy, online shopping is a much more convenient and cheaper option. Secondly
, information technology
has markedly created higher productivity. With the development of many modern machines and systems , people
’s jobs are becoming much easier. For instance
, there are such
calculating systems helping people
calculate data faster and machines help people
solve dangerous and labor work. This
not only improves the efficiency but also
saves time for other tasks.
On the other hand
, the development of IT leads to several negative aspects as follows. Firstly
, modern technology
deprives people
of job opportunities. It is common now to see almost all production lines in factories are controlled by technology
and systems. This
situation results in the
alarmingly increased unemployment among humans as the need for real Correct article usage
apply
people
in these jobs are
sadly taken for granted. Change the verb form
is
Secondly
, people
using technology
have to face security issues. There are more and more computer hackers who can plagiarize people
’s production and spoil data on the Internet. They can post a variety of irrelevant information on the Internet without verification, which leads to people
being mistaken, especially silver surfers and children. Finally
, excessive use of the Internet can trigger people
’s over-reliance and health issues. When solving a problem becomes easier with intelligent technology
, it is more difficult to assess one’s competence. People
spending too much time on technology
will also
easily forget to take care of themselves and
Correct word choice
which
lead
to several diseases Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
such
as eye issues, addiction and insomnia.
All things considered, IT brings about a lot of advantageous changes to people
’s lives. However
, there are still some negatives that people
must be aware of when using it.Submitted by Andy on
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task achievement
Expand on examples. While your examples are relevant, providing more specific details or case studies could make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Consider rephrasing the introduction. Although the introduction is clear, it may be improved by presenting a more balanced viewpoint initially before stating your stance.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph connects smoothly to the next to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Strong and clear stance. Your viewpoint is clear and maintained throughout the essay, which strengthens your arguments.
task achievement
Effective use of examples. You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure. Your essay follows a logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.