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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #art #lives #purpose #distraction #life
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Art
 is one of the skills that bring benefits and drawbacks, which depends on how the community use it in their path in
life
. Some groups argue that arts give meaning and
value
 to their personal
life
,
while
 the others group think that it is merely a distraction from their
life
. In
this
 essay, I side with those who believe that
art
 brings more benefits to our
life
 rather than disadvantages.
To begin
 with,
art
 considers a beneficial skill for our
life
.
It is clear that
 many schools now have
art
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their agenda.
For example
, the students learn to draw a picture, sing a song, and play instruments.
Moreover
, it brings plenty of advantages for children’s brain development,
such
 as they can learn how to feel the atmosphere, how to express their emotion through the music and
also
 in a
further
 step they can choose
art
 as their goal in
life
.
For instance
, my friends choose the
art
 program
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university because they are keen on it and find it as their soul, which means they already get their purpose in
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
.
On the other hand
, people
also
 think that
art
 is one of the distractions in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life
.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 gives
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
entertainment to us and
also
 defines our
value
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. The arts
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not only define
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
 but beyond that, it
is
Change the verb form
also defines
show examples
also
 define our characteristics.
In particular
, the
song writer
Correct your spelling
songwriter
show examples
 determines their genre and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
define
Change the verb form
defines
show examples
 their characteristics.
To conclude
,
art
 brings many advantages in our real
life
,
such
 to express our emotions, learning to feel our surroundings deeply and
last
 but not least is one of the ways to develop our child’s right brain.
Thus
, it is my view that
art
 gives us
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
entertainment, but beyond
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 it defines our
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
 and characteristics.
Submitted by mdelvega90 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic
  • cathartic
  • cultural tapestry
  • expressionism
  • fleeting
  • introspection
  • monetary value
  • nostalgia
  • profound impact
  • socioeconomic
  • subjective perspective
  • visceral response
What to do next:
Look at other essays: