The family has a great influence on children’s development but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
children
are more likely to be impacted by the outside world compared with the influence from
their family. Personally, I totally concur with Change preposition
of
this
statement because the academic knowledge and social skills
they can acquire from the wider community are more significant to their life-time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
development
than what is provided at home.
The primary reason supporting my stance is that regarding children’s
intellectual development
, teachers play a more crucial role than parents
do. Teachers are known to have to ability to impart knowledge to children
of different subjects. In math classes, for example
, students are taught algebra and functions, which exercise children’s
logical thinking. Similarly
, taking history classes allows children
to analyse the causes and effects of historical events, helping them improve their analytical skills
and critical-thinking ability. These skills
are significant in children’s
continuous education and future employment. The majority of parents
, however
, are not able to do so as they are not experts in such
areas, thereby being less influential on children’s
further
advancement.
Another important point I consider is that social skills
and collaborative skills
, which facilitate children’s
future development
can, to a larger extent, be cultivated via socialising with peers at school or participating in various activities rather than the interaction with parents
. On campus, children
may have conflict
with their schoolmates, but will gradually understand and learn the way to get Fix the agreement mistake
conflicts
along with
others if some of their behaviour prevents them from making friends. Meanwhile, there are many activities requiring cooperation, through which children
can have an appreciation of teamwork. In contrast
, family members shower children
with endless love, seldom requiring them to share what they have and always helping them to do everything possible, which is of no benefit to children’s
development
.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that the world outside home
weighs more than Correct article usage
the home
parents
in children’s
development
. After all, the important factors in children’s
growth, including intellectual development
, social skills
and collaborative skills
can mostly be nurtured beyond a family setting.Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt in the essay introduction to set a clear direction for your discussion.
coherence cohesion
A wider range of linking words could be used to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Expand your conclusion to include a more detailed summary of your points and reflection on the implications of your discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that every paragraph fully addresses a distinct main point related to the prompt. Use examples and explanations to support your ideas more thoroughly.
task achievement
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary to make your responses more engaging and demonstrate higher language proficiency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!