The family has a great influence on children’s development but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that
children
Use synonyms
are more likely to be impacted by the outside world compared with the influence
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
their family. Personally, I totally concur with
this
Linking Words
statement because the academic knowledge and social
skills
Use synonyms
they can acquire from the wider community are more significant to their
life-time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
development
Use synonyms
than what is provided at home. The primary reason supporting my stance is that regarding
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
intellectual
development
Use synonyms
, teachers play a more crucial role than
parents
Use synonyms
do. Teachers are known to have to ability to impart knowledge to
children
Use synonyms
of different subjects. In math classes,
for example
Linking Words
, students are taught algebra and functions, which exercise
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
logical thinking.
Similarly
Linking Words
, taking history classes allows
children
Use synonyms
to analyse the causes and effects of historical events, helping them improve their analytical
skills
Use synonyms
and critical-thinking ability. These
skills
Use synonyms
are significant in
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
continuous education and future employment. The majority of
parents
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, are not able to do so as they are not experts in
such
Linking Words
areas, thereby being less influential on
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
advancement. Another important point I consider is that social
skills
Use synonyms
and collaborative
skills
Use synonyms
, which facilitate
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
future
development
Use synonyms
can, to a larger extent, be cultivated via socialising with peers at school or participating in various activities rather than the interaction with
parents
Use synonyms
. On campus,
children
Use synonyms
may have
conflict
Fix the agreement mistake
conflicts
show examples
with their schoolmates, but will gradually understand and learn the way to get
along with
Linking Words
others if some of their behaviour prevents them from making friends. Meanwhile, there are many activities requiring cooperation, through which
children
Use synonyms
can have an appreciation of teamwork.
In contrast
Linking Words
, family members shower
children
Use synonyms
with endless love, seldom requiring them to share what they have and always helping them to do everything possible, which is of no benefit to
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
development
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the world outside
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
weighs more than
parents
Use synonyms
in
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
development
Use synonyms
. After all, the important factors in
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
growth, including intellectual
development
Use synonyms
, social
skills
Use synonyms
and collaborative
skills
Use synonyms
can mostly be nurtured beyond a family setting.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt in the essay introduction to set a clear direction for your discussion.
coherence cohesion
A wider range of linking words could be used to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Expand your conclusion to include a more detailed summary of your points and reflection on the implications of your discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that every paragraph fully addresses a distinct main point related to the prompt. Use examples and explanations to support your ideas more thoroughly.
task achievement
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary to make your responses more engaging and demonstrate higher language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional and psychological development
  • foundational stone
  • external influences
  • diverse perspectives
  • digital media
  • peer pressure
  • social circles
  • intellectual development
  • structured knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural and societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: