IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

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Undoubtedly,
fuel
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 that comes from
cars
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 is one of the reasons for the rise in
pollution
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 today, and the local
government
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 must increase the prices of the
fuel
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due to
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this
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 process will reduce the traffic
as well as
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 the
pollution
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 issues.
This
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 essay will discuss do I agree or disagree with
this
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 particular topic and the measures that I think it is going to be effective. On the one hand, there is no denying that most people are consuming and destroying the environment by using
cars
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 with
fuel
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 access.
In addition
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, the
government
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 should take the leader's rule and make the
fuel
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 costs more expensive.
For instance
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, a study showed that 79% of environmental scientists had advised individuals
to begin
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 cycling
due to
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 the
fuel
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 that comes from
cars
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 to the streets causing immense
pollution
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 to the air
as well as
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 trees. So by using healthier transport, the issues will disappear.
On the other hand
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, there is another solution to take if people do not want to cooperate.
For example
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, electric
cars
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 are going to be quite effective in
this
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 case, and there will be no more
pollution
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 coming from any type of
fuel
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.
Therefore
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, many car companies like Tesla and Ford are producing electric
cars
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due to
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 the
government
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's compulsory about the
pollution
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.
however
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, the traffic will not disappear with any sort of
cars
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 on the street. I personally think that to solve the traffic issue; the
government
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 must enlarge the streets for individuals or make healthy free transport like an electric train.
To sum up
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,
although
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 opinions may vary, I believe that the increases in
fuel
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 prices are going to solve plenty of issues
such
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 as
pollution
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 disappearing and green tree quality ( etc.). In terms of effective solutions, electric
cars
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 and trains are going to be a better solution for the environment
as well as
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 enlarge the streets for people's needs.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea, and use linking words to improve the logical flow between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
Your arguments would be stronger if you provided specific data or examples that directly link petrol prices to traffic and pollution reductions, and explained the connection succinctly.
task achievement
The essay effectively defines your position on the issue and outlines potential solutions, such as promoting electric cars and cycling.
coherence cohesion
Overall, there is a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the essay effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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