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Writing Samples
Band 5

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

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Nowadays, the human age is just a number. With the advancement in health care and
life
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 expectancy the number of older
people
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, over sixty-five years old, who can contribute to society has increased.
This
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 essay will discuss the various ways in which the older
generation
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 can help in our community.
Firstly
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, a lot of elders actually have massive information about any situation, and they might have experienced all the wrong or the right ways, and know the best route to achieve success. It means that if others
use
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 their experiences, they will have the least error, and be successful as soon as possible.
For instance
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, many companies could
use
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people
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 over sixty-five years old, to illustrate the accurate way to employees, and prohibit them from making mistakes, so they make progress.
This
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 guides society towards large and advanced companies in the world.
In addition
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, the
gray
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grey
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 hair
generation
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 might be the best storytellers, because they have lived for many decades, and have seen many
life
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 events. communities may
use
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 the elderly’s knowledge
for enriching
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to enrich
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 culture and show it to the world. Examples can be seen in the older
generation
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 participating in tourist places
such
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 as museums and sharing their information in the format of an interesting story.
This
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 could have a huge effect on society by spreading their culture and history among
people
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 and being known throughout the world.
To conclude
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, these days,
people
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 in their sixties are able to have longer
life
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 spans, and more active
life
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 than the previous
generation
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. The community could
use
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 the older members in many companies by recognizing their skills for progressing and
also
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use
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 them in museums
for making
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to make
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 history and civilization famous around the globe.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the points and ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that the introduction includes a clear thesis statement and that the conclusion restates the main points and provides a final thought.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing the ways society can benefit from the contribution of older people. Develop clearer and more comprehensive ideas with relevant and specific examples to support your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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