Some people think that children should begin their education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #education #age #think #years

Many people argue that early

education

could bring benefits to

children

. Meanwhile, others believe that sending kids over 7 years old who are more developed to

school

is more advantageous. In

this

essay, I will analyze both opinions and express my personal point of view. On the one hand, some people believe early

education

has a lot of advantages for

children

Firstly

, early

education

could enhance

children

's confidence. They can have more friends in their

school

and learn new knowledge sooner than their peers.

For example

, if kids learn English early, they will be confident in communicating with foreigners and they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

likely use English more fluently and naturally than those who study later.

Secondly

children

would become more active because they have chances to participate in

school’s

Correct article usage

the school’s

show examples

extracurricular activities.

For instance

, there are a lot of sports, vocational classes

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

art clubs and so on.

On the other hand

, many people

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that it is not necessary for

children

to go to

school

before the age of seven. First of all,

children

would have more time to enjoy their childhood since they don’t have to be stressed about

school

homework.

Therefore

, they would have more time to spend on their hobbies

such

as dancing, drawing and so on.

Furthermore

, it is easier to acquire knowledge for kids who go to

school

at seven years old.

This

age often has enough development in both physical traits and mentality to understand lessons clearly. To demonstrate, their brain can think more logically in order to solve difficult mathematical problems. In conclusion,

although

some individuals believe in the benefits of early

education

, I think that it is better for

children

to start their

education

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

least 7 years old to ensure that they enjoy their childhood and learn better at

school

Submitted by smartdog2k on Wed Apr 12 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points within the body paragraphs could be better supported with more detailed examples. Ensure that your examples specifically reinforce the points being made.

task achievement

The response to the prompt is complete; however, ideas and arguments could be expanded upon for greater clarity and depth. Aim to develop ideas further and provide more substantial examples to back up your points.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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