IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too mcuh time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #levels #education #schools #universities #mcuh #time #facts #skills
Recently, many people claimed that education in school spent too much time learning knowledge and focusing on studying facts than other
skills
. I strongly believe that they make students in all grades lack
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
skills
. For some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
:
Firstly
, spending too much time on academic subjects leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of soft
skills
 so has an obstacle to
find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
 a stable job.
For example
, if you want to become a doctor, you need much knowledge but
also
 you will need practical
skills
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when you want to be a teacher, you not only need theory,
you
Correct word choice
but you
show examples
also
 need to have communication
skills
 to communicate with your students.
In addition
, even job seekers have college degrees with
A
Change noun form
A's
show examples
 but still fail. Because, nowadays, many companies need official staff to have practical experience. That’s why a lot of people have degrees but are still unemployed. In conclusion, studying facts is necessary but you shouldn’t spend all your time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that. We need to add more practical
skills
 in education, balancing both of them to help students have more
reality
Replace the word
realistic
show examples
skills
 in social
skills
.
Submitted by quynhhoangks123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: