IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that money is the best gift to give to young people while others think other types of gifts are better for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #gifts
Some believe that
money
 is the best present to give to children,
whereas
 others think other types of gifts
such
 as toys and books are better.
This
 essay will discuss topics from both sides of view with some detailed explanations. On the one hand, cash is suitable to give to children in case you do not know what things they like.
Due to
this
 reason, if you buy it and give it to them, they may not like it and throw it ,so
that is
 wasting, but if you give
money
 to kids, they can go to the shop to buy things that they want ,
for instance
, dolls and footballs by themself.
On the other hand
, some argue that giving cash to children means that you do not care about them and the younger ones may think
that is
 a duty ,not love.
For example
, some parents give
money
 to their kids
instead
 of buying presents. Some of them may feel sad and think that their parent does not love them.
In addition
, giving another thing to young people can make them feel excited since they have to guess what is inside the present box. In my opinion, other types of gifts are more suitable because that takes time for predicting what they like and selecting the best things for them.
For
this
 reason, kids can feel how much you love them. In conclusion, if they get
money
 as a present,they can buy anything that they want ,
while
 some of them think the person who gives them does not care about them.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: