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Band 7.5

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

#countries #students #year #gap #school #work #travel #period #universities
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Many scholars in many nations choose to skip a year post finishing their studies at school.
This
 could lead to favourable and unfavourable circumstances for them.
This
 essay will discuss the merits and demerits that come
along with
 choices made by youngsters.
To begin
, it is a fact that students can receive a plethora of exposure to the outside world if they sacrifice their comfort zone.
Although
, it will require braveness from them, but
instead
 offers a feeling of independence and makes them mentally strong individuals.
Additionally
, teenagers can earn significant money in
this
 one-year gap.
Further
, they can spend
this
 money on travelling to different locations to learn about cultures or exchange ideas that can help them in the future.
However
, the drawbacks of taking a gap year are far greater. One of the major disadvantages of it is isolation from studies that affect the productivity of the youngsters.
Consequently
,
at the end
 of their one-year journey, they might face problems associated with adopting the studies after a prolonged interval. The risk of not getting accepted by prestigious universities is another disadvantage. Some prestigious institutes do not want adolescents with a gap year to be part of them.
In other words
, they will risk all their achievement and hard work.
Furthermore
, they might join some vocational institute and lose their higher education. In conclusion, teens can take a break after finishing school. They can learn things that cannot be taught by any universities or colleges.
However
, young ones need to be aware of the risks that they are taking and must be careful of the decisions that they are making.
Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is good. However, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next to increase coherence.
task achievement
Your points are clearly presented, but adding more specific examples or data could strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing.
task achievement
You provide a good discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, but expanding on each point with more details or examples can help you achieve a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using words repetitively (e.g., 'favourable and unfavourable'). Using a variety of vocabulary can improve your score.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and clearly states what the essay will cover.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion nicely summarises the key points made in the essay and offers a balanced viewpoint.
complete response
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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