IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels. Is this a positive or negative development?

#fuels #source #energy #world #countries #alternative #sources #development
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Fossil
fuels
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 have been the primary source of
energy
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 worldwide. Today, most nations are using renewable
energy
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instead
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 of fossil
fuels
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, which I believe has many positive effects on the environment and economy as well. There are many
energy
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 sources to replace fossil
fuels
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 that have a positive impact on the environment.
Firstly
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, using soft
energy
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such
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 as
wind
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 and sun to generate power is the best way to protect habitats from toxic materials that fossil
fuels
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 are producing.
In addition
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, soft
energy
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 is a clean
energy
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 that has no emissions to the surroundings
,
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apply
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 and proves to help protect humans and animals from pollution.
People
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 living in countries that depend on natural sources of
energy
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 live for longer than others who don't
use
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 it.
For instance
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, the Netherlands have hundreds of
wind
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 stations all over the country to produce power, and it is considered environmentally friendly, as
wind
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energy
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 has no emissions to the surroundings.
Secondly
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, renewable
energy
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 proves to be cost-effective for individuals and the
government
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. It is financially effective to
use
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 renewable
energy
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, as the cost will be paid only once when establishing the station for
energy
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 generators.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 benefit from using soft
energy
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, because the
government
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 rewards citizens who
use
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 soft
energy
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 with money back on every invoice they pay for electricity.
For example
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, in Jordan, the
government
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 exempts
people
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 who
use
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 sun
energy
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 plates from fees and they return some of the tax money
at the end
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 of the year. In conclusion, I strongly believe that using alternative
energy
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 like
wind
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 or sun has many benefits that are present in protecting the environment and saving money for the
government
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 and
people
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.
Submitted by nidaa_hamed on

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task response
To achieve a higher score, it is essential to enhance the depth of analysis. You may provide more detailed explanations or address potential counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the flow between paragraphs by using a variety of cohesive devices and ensure each idea connects seamlessly to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument effectively.
task response
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples that enhance the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, contributing to overall coherence.
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