Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness. Others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Many
people
Use synonyms
believe that everyone
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being happy depends on
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
,
however
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,
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
think that
this
Linking Words
feeling depends on other things. I am going to describe both
opinion
Correct pronoun usage
my opinion
show examples
and my opinion. On the one hand,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
happiness
Use synonyms
is in their own hands. More and more
people
Use synonyms
believe
this
Linking Words
point of view, and, they try to will be happy.
For example
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,
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
every problem can get solution with just
smile
Correct article usage
a smile
show examples
because when
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
happy
Add a missing verb
is happy
show examples
, she or he wants to agree peacefully. All who
happy
Add a missing verb
are happy
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life every time think about good things and forget any problems.
In addition
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, psychologists always say that if
Correct article usage
a man
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man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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or
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
happy
Add a missing verb
is happy
show examples
during the day, they will get motivation and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not fear do any risks.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, person who do
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
can get success
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
Furthermore
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion. If
people
Use synonyms
believe
Change preposition
in yourself
show examples
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, they are responsible for their
happiness
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others think there are other factors for their feeling happy. They think
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
their
happiness
Use synonyms
 
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
different factors. Some
people
Use synonyms
's
happiness
Use synonyms
is
modern
Add an article
a modern
show examples
and comfortable life,
for example
Linking Words
, some teens want to play different computer games and eat delicious dishes, and, some other
people
Use synonyms
like
happiness
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in their work.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
think money is the most important thing for their
happiness
Use synonyms
, and,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
partially true.
To conclude
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, there are a
namber
Correct your spelling
number
of
people
Use synonyms
who think
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
on
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
happiness
Use synonyms
, and, in my point of view
this
Linking Words
argument
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
correctly
Change the word
correct
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
others believe
this
Linking Words
connecting
Wrong verb form
connects
show examples
with other factors.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-reliance
  • Positive psychology
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Well-being
  • Mindset
  • Personal choices
  • Environmental factors
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Emotional resilience
  • Quality of life
  • Subjective well-being
  • External circumstances
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