Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness. Others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that everyone

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

being happy depends on

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

however

Linking Words

another

Replace the adjective

other

show examples

people

Use synonyms

think that

this

Linking Words

feeling depends on other things. I am going to describe both

opinion

Correct pronoun usage

my opinion

show examples

and my opinion. On the one hand,

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

people

Use synonyms

opinions

Fix the agreement mistake

opinion

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

is in their own hands. More and more

people

Use synonyms

believe

this

Linking Words

point of view, and, they try to will be happy.

For example

Linking Words

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

every problem can get solution with just

smile

Correct article usage

a smile

show examples

because when

person

Correct article usage

a person

show examples

happy

Add a missing verb

is happy

show examples

, she or he wants to agree peacefully. All who

happy

Add a missing verb

are happy

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life every time think about good things and forget any problems.

In addition

Linking Words

, psychologists always say that if

Correct article usage

a man

show examples

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

happy

Add a missing verb

is happy

show examples

during the day, they will get motivation and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not fear do any risks.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, person who do

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

can get success

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion. If

people

Use synonyms

believe

Change preposition

in yourself

show examples

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

, they are responsible for their

happiness

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others think there are other factors for their feeling happy. They think

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

their

happiness

Use synonyms

connected

Add a missing verb

is connected

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

different factors. Some

people

Use synonyms

happiness

Use synonyms

modern

Add an article

a modern

show examples

and comfortable life,

for example

Linking Words

, some teens want to play different computer games and eat delicious dishes, and, some other

people

Use synonyms

happiness

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

in their work.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, a lot of

people

Use synonyms

think money is the most important thing for their

happiness

Use synonyms

, and,

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

partially true.

To conclude

Linking Words

, there are a

namber

Correct your spelling

number

people

Use synonyms

who think

depends

Correct subject-verb agreement

depend

show examples

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

your

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

, and, in my point of view

this

Linking Words

argument

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

correctly

Change the word

correct

show examples

While

Linking Words

others believe

this

Linking Words

connecting

Wrong verb form

connects

show examples

with other factors.

moxinurabjalilova

Apr 12, 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Self-reliance
Positive psychology
Socioeconomic status
Well-being
Mindset
Personal choices
Environmental factors
Interpersonal relationships
Emotional resilience
Quality of life
Subjective well-being
External circumstances

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It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the government is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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ın some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?