Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a belief that
jail
is not an effective way to solve the problem, and educational activities should be provided for delinquents
in prisons. Although
I believe that the authorities should provide education and job training for suspects, I also
think that sending them to jail
also
is effective Rephrase
apply
to reduce
felonies.
Putting criminals in jails is a good way to reduce lawlessness because of several reasons. Change preposition
in reducing
Firstly
, one of the important reasons to imprison delinquents
is incapacitation. Take murders as an example. This
is a serious atrocity and it has a high risk for our society. Therefore
, murderers should be put in jail
in order to prevent them from killing innocent people. Another reason is that a penitentiary is an effective deterrence which can provide warnings to people who think about committing crimes and discourage people from breaking the law.
On the other hand
, educational activities such
as job training and counselling should be provided to delinquents
for several reasons. Chief among these is that such
action will rehabilitate prisoners, which helps them to avoid criminal action when they are freed. For example
, delinquents
can have counselling with psychologists in the
prison, which helps them reduce their anti-social mindsets. Another benefit of offering educational exercise is the reduction of the recommit wrongdoing rate, especially for offenders who come from poor backgrounds. If criminals are trained in working skills and knowledge, they will have a normal life when they are freed.
In conclusion, there are several benefits in terms of rehabilitation when offering education and job training in Correct article usage
apply
jail
. However
, jails play an important role to reduce future lawlessness and protect our society.Submitted by totruonganspk on
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task response
Consider refining the thesis statement in your introduction for a clearer stance on the topic, perhaps by directly stating to what extent you agree or disagree.
coherence
While the essay has a logical flow, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly can enhance comprehension. Use clear linking phrases to guide the reader through your points.
supporting ideas
Ensure all main points are equally supported with relevant examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. The use of varied examples can add depth.
structure
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main discussion points.
task response
Good use of examples such as counseling and rehabilitation offers specificity to your points, illustrating your arguments well.
critical thinking
The essay presents a balanced view, considering both the necessity of traditional imprisonment and the benefits of education and training.
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