some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactorty job or shoratage of money,others argue that is better to try and imrove such situation

#people #situation #unsatisfactorty #job #shoratage #money #imrove

Many people, all around the world, experienced bad situations. Some believe that we must accept those things

such

as do not have a

satisfaction

Replace the word

satisfying

show examples

job. Others do not agree with

this

point of view and argue that it is better to try hard and change the situation. We will discuss both in the following essay. On the one hand, many think that their life is destiny as written in the past and no one can change it. In important areas namely their career, shortage of money and even where they live. If they are not happy with their profession, they will accept it and not think about changing it.

Or if

Correct word choice

show examples

their income is not enough for their family, they will not ask for help from others. They will accept it and

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not try to shift things.

On the other hand

, there are many people who are trying hard to

switch

Verb problem

change

show examples

their lives and will not accept less or bad.

For example

, someone who does not have a good job, try to find another one that would like more and satisfy him/her. People like

this

try hard to take some good actions that might change their way of living. In conclusion, I cannot accept the first group's opinion and I believe that we write our stories by hard-working and

Verb problem

make

show examples

some changes that make us happy in our lives.

Submitted by shojaeinejad_m on Wed Apr 12 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

230 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactorty job or shoratage of money,others argue that is better to try and imrove such situation

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.