The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000
The graph compares variations in
birth
rates of two countries ( China
and United
States of America) from 1920 to 2000.
Correct article usage
the United
Overall
, it is clear that
the birth
rates of the two countries fluctuated, butCorrect your spelling
China`s
china
`s birth
rate
remained steady in the end.
According to
the data, American
Correct article usage
the American
birth
rate
started above 10 in 1920 and decreased sharply from 1930 to 1945 but it experienced a dramatically
increase, continuously in 1955 the Change the adverb
dramatic
birth
rate
was approximately 50 while
at the end
due to
slight
decrease in the Correct article usage
a slight
,
trend it was just over 5.
As it is given Remove the comma
apply
china
's trend differed from 1955, the pick for it was in 1950 after a sharp increase the birth
rate
was 20. while
it declined gradually after 1950 there was just less than 5 which is the lowest rate
among the two countries.There was saw a sharp decline in the amount of birth
from 1955 to 200. The figure for birth
in China
and the USA in 2000 were 3 and 7 respectively.Submitted by asgharrrlashkariii on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, china, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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