IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent time
Add a comma
,
show examples
a developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proportion of individuals
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
suffering
health
Change preposition
from health
show examples
 issues are trying to find alternative medicines and treatments as opposed to going to their own doctor. From my perspective
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here compared
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 negative and positive impacts.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 number of
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
related
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 problems.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 period, pharmacy shops several developing .
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 pharmacy shops
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
purchase some
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of medicines in
this
Linking Words
 period.
In addition
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
medicines include
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of ingredients,
such
Linking Words
 as caffeine, protein,narcotics and so on.If people consume
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
 it will be
detrimental
Correct article usage
a detrimental
show examples
 impact
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 lives.It could be in some cases
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if you go to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
doctors
Use synonyms
 give advice for consuming these pills.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Add a comma
,say
show examples
 you can buy these
drugs
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,these
drugs
Use synonyms
 negatively affect your
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
, at
this
Linking Words
 moment , you cannot perceive what is wrong with you and cannot find what kind of problems.
This
Linking Words
 is because it could be
doctors
Use synonyms
 are less experienced.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
doctors
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge.Nowadays several pharmacy shops are selling unlegal
drugs
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 consumers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are loads of consuming
drugs
Use synonyms
 to help it could supply balance and stimulates.
Thus
Linking Words
 most people go to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 appointments with
doctors
Use synonyms
 to correct their health. Nowadays many people trust pharmacies
producing
Change the verb form
to produce
show examples
 quality products ,it helps to lift up your memory when it comes to consuming pills . But
also
Linking Words
 these pills ad
show
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV.
Moreover
Linking Words
 nowadays several our of
doctors
Use synonyms
 are going abroad , lifting up their experience for taking a cure for patients.
That is
Linking Words
 true. In our
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 for taking a cure there are sufficient
convenients
Correct your spelling
conveniences
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , shortly speaking our health is an important part of our lives. Nowadays in our country opening some
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of hospitals .
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: