IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people
Nowadays, the number of young adults is more than the number of older
people
 in some countries. In my opinion, the positive points of
this
 situation are more than the negative points, because of two major reasons. One reason is the young workforce and another one is the young
generation
. I will discuss these in
this
 article. The first reason is that the young workforce can cope with new things sooner than the seniors.
For example
, the young worker can learn new technology to find new methods to figure out a problem that the older crowd can't learn as soon as young adults can.
In addition
, young men and women can work in bad conditions and under pressure like bad weather.
As a result
, a
country
 that has a young workforce can develop their
country
 in different ways
such
 as the economy. The second reason is the young
generation
 which means the young girls and boys can have a baby to keep the young
generation
.
According to
 the statics, countries try to have the young
generation
 because they know that they can develop their
country
 in many ways like industry.
On the other hand
, the older socialities have more experience than the younger ones.
For instance
, in some situations, experience plays an important role to solve a problem than the young body.
However
, in the workplace, we can use two different generations the young and the old to manage all issues. In conclusion, having both young and old
people
 are important in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society because old
people
 have experience and young
people
 have
powerful
Add an article
a powerful
the powerful
show examples
 body. So, they can help a
country
 with each other.
Submitted by Niyoshakhalili on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: