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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents think parents should attend child care courses to learn how to take care of their children. Do you agree?

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In recent times, society give very importance to
children
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's
health
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.
Therefore
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, some individuals believe that
parents
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 should attend
childcare
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 lessons to take
care
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 of their
children
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. In my opinion, make knowledge about
children
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's
health
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 and mind are very important things and I totally agree with the above statement.
To begin
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 with,
parents
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 should attend
child
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care
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classes
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 will helpful to the
children
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's father and mother. Because there are many things to do for
children
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's
health
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,
parents
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 take
classes
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. To put on another way,
children
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's daily routine and food are very different from elder
people
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,
hence
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children
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 need extra
care
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. So if
parents
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 take a
child
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care
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 course very useful for them.
For example
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 if a parent of a first
child
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,they do not have any idea about, whom to take
care
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 of their baby.So
child
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care
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courses
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 teach step-by-step things to
parents
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.
Furthermore
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,
childcare
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courses
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 help
people
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 to get relief from parental life.
This
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 means parenting is not an easy thing.
Parents
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 face manifold mental pressure and
health
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 issues.
Thus
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 that time
child
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care
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courses
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 give extra awareness
classes
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 and tell what the problems are they going to face and
also
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 say the solutions to issues.
Hence
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child
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care
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classes
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 are very important for
parents
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. In conclusion, most
people
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 are varied about their
children
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. So that
parents
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 attend
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child
Correct your spelling
childcare
show examples
care
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 sections. In my opinion,
childcare
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courses
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 are very important for
children
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 living and
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 mental
health
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.some
people
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 think that
parents
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 should attend
childcare
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
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 statement.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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