IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think nations and individuals should focus on their own personal problems rather than global ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #nations #individuals #focus #ones
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Nowadays, it is sometimes thought that countries and humans ought to focus on global
problems
,
while
 other
people
 believe that the focus should be on personal
problems
. In my opinion, I totally agree
with
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apply
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that folks should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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concentrate on their own difficulties rather than global issues.
Firstly
, I would like to make
concentrate
Add an article
a concentrate
the concentrate
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 on one problem
that is
 not focused.
From
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For
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last
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the last
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 couple of years, students are going
to
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apply
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abroad for higher education and for better
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 growth. The reason why pupils are migrating to another country is that it feels them a chance to improve themselves.
For instance
, the
indian
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Indian
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people
 are still going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Canada or the
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 for higher education. So,
according to
 me, if
country
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a country
show examples
improve
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improves
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 their education system
then
 it might be possible that students will enjoy
to learn
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learning
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 more and
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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 more in their own country.
Secondly
, another point to
be consider
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be considered
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 is that individuals have
same
Add an article
the same
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thought
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thoughts
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 as nations.
People
 always talk about their neighbourhood's
problem
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problems
show examples
 and give them
a free solutions
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free solutions
a free solution
show examples
 without thinking
whether
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about whether
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 it was right or wrong. During
this
, they can not figure out
problems
 that are
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
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 in their own home.
For example
, some families always try to make happy to their neighbourhood and at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
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 their child is becoming far from them because they
he
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apply
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feel alone.
Hence
, I think that if families are staying
together
with
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apply
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happily
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 little younger are not becoming alone. In conclusion, today's community and generations are less
concentrating
Replace the word
concentrated
show examples
 on their own issues, and they are talking about solutions
of
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to
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 other
problems
.
Accroding
Correct your spelling
According
 to
me
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my
show examples
,
people
 and local regions first focus on personal
problems
 and think
how
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about how
show examples
 to solve them.
Submitted by writing7 on

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