IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in a country from 1983 to 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in a country from 1983 to 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #proportions #energy #country #information #features #comparisons
The given pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 data about the proportions of energy produced in a country from 1983 to 2003.There are five powers.They are
hydropower
,
oil
,
nucleat
Correct your spelling
nuclear
 power , coal and
nafural
Correct your spelling
natural
 gas. Looking at the graph as a whole,
oil
 was the most
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 energy between 1980 and 2003.
On the other hand
,
hydropower
 was the lowest from 1983 to 2003. In detail,
hydropower
 was no change at 4%
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
priode
Correct your spelling
period
, and
also
 nuclear power remained all most constant at around 22% from 1983 to 2003.
On the other hand
, the proportion of coal
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 10% between 1983 and 2003,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 the rate of
hydropower
 down
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 4% from 1983 to 2003.In constant,the proportion of natural gas
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 10% until 2003.As you can see,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
 is the most
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all,and
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hydropower
 is the
proporption
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of lowest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all.So the rate of
hydropower
 and
oil
Add a missing verb
was different
show examples
different
Replace the word
differed
show examples
 at around 36% in 1983 and 2003.
Submitted by hatsudaya706 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, on the other hand".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hydropower, oil with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • energy sources
  • increases
  • decreases
  • trends
  • analysis
  • significant
  • compare
  • changes over time
  • introduction
  • phase out
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!