IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sport stadium.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #care #education #theatres #sport #stadium
Some individuals claim that healthcare and education should be taken into consideration by the regime expending, leaving the theatres and sports stadiums with no financial support. Personally speaking, I disagree with
this
 notion because it is important to balance between
entertainment
 and necessary services to live a quality life.
To begin
 with, it is true that essential services should be taken care of ,but that could be achieved without neglecting the other
facilities
.
That is
 because of the importance of
entertainment
 in the citizen's life.
Furthermore
, to imagen
this
 statement in the reality, there is already a country named Switzerland that only provide the basics for their citizen ,
as a result
 , most of the citizen migrated to another place because of the massive boredom that they felt there.
However
,
although
 theatres and sports
facilities
 are important , they can not exceed the expending of the basic
facilities
. Because usually healthcare and education need more money support rather than
entertainment
 fields.
For instance
, the cost of one cancer treatment costs more than 30.000 dollars, and every patient needs at least 3 of them.
Thus
 , countries should know the right amount of expenditure for every facility they spend on. On balance, when the government spends on essential or
entertainment
facilities
,they have to spend the money equally without neglecting one of them, because they complete each other in a fabulous way for achieving better citizens' lives.
Submitted by fftaif73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: