In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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University life experiences vary from one another depending on their country's circumstances. Some
students
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have the opportunity to stay with family when they pursue higher studies
while
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in other countries,
students
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move to another city for university studies. I do think, attending university far away from family has brought huge
benefits
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than its drawbacks.
To begin
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, studying in their own cities brought several
benefits
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to the future generations. One of the significant advantages is
students
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gain interpersonal skills. To be more precise, when children go to
unmfamilier
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unfamiliar
places to study that enables them to face many challenges
such
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as climate change, new environment, new community, and vary in food choice.
Thus
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, they have to manage on their own beyond family members' support which practices make children's interpersonal skills that possess them to manage any difficult situations in their lives.
For instance
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, in my country universities provide hostels for
students
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where they do not have all facilities. Even if they do not have a personal bedroom have to share it with other colleagues and manage all the stuff personally.
In addition
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,
students
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have the opportunity to explore new things which makes their lives better to some extent. Despite the above
benefits
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, the distance between families gives freedom to the
students
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which, leads to some detrimental effects on
students
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' lives.
In other words
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, children think of anything can do without knowing their parents which allows them to engage in Bad activities
such
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as smoking, alcohol, and drug addiction.
To conclude
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,
although
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studying in another city has a worsened effect on some
students
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, many
students
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have several
benefits
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since enhances interpersonal skills and explore various places. I do think the advantages
in
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of
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studying distance from family outweigh the disadvantages
Submitted by jivenica1998 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs. For instance, you could use phrases like 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', and 'in contrast'.
task achievement
While you have provided examples and reasons, try to include more specific and personal experiences to make your essay more persuasive. This will enhance the relevance of your examples and demonstrate your ability to relate abstract ideas to concrete instances.
task achievement
Proofreading is essential. Make sure there are no grammatical errors, typos, or awkward phrases. For instance, ensure that words like 'unfamiliar' are spelled correctly, and phrases like 'think of anything can do' are appropriately structured as 'think they can do anything'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have made a balanced argument considering both advantages and disadvantages of studying away from home, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The inclusion of a personal example is commendable; it reflects an attempt to connect personal experience with the broader topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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