In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
University life experiences vary from one another depending on their country's circumstances. Some
students
have the opportunity to stay with family when they pursue higher studies while
in other countries, students
move to another city for university studies. I do think, attending university far away from family has brought huge benefits
than its drawbacks.
To begin
, studying in their own cities brought several benefits
to the future generations. One of the significant advantages is students
gain interpersonal skills. To be more precise, when children go to unmfamilier
places to study that enables them to face many challenges Correct your spelling
unfamiliar
such
as climate change, new environment, new community, and vary in food choice. Thus
, they have to manage on their own beyond family members' support which practices make children's interpersonal skills that possess them to manage any difficult situations in their lives. For instance
, in my country universities provide hostels for students
where they do not have all facilities. Even if they do not have a personal bedroom have to share it with other colleagues and manage all the stuff personally. In addition
, students
have the opportunity to explore new things which makes their lives better to some extent.
Despite the above benefits
, the distance between families gives freedom to the students
which, leads to some detrimental effects on students
' lives. In other words
, children think of anything can do without knowing their parents which allows them to engage in Bad activities such
as smoking, alcohol, and drug addiction.
To conclude
, although
studying in another city has a worsened effect on some students
, many students
have several benefits
since enhances interpersonal skills and explore various places. I do think the advantages in
studying distance from family outweigh the disadvantagesChange preposition
of
Submitted by jivenica1998 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs. For instance, you could use phrases like 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', and 'in contrast'.
task achievement
While you have provided examples and reasons, try to include more specific and personal experiences to make your essay more persuasive. This will enhance the relevance of your examples and demonstrate your ability to relate abstract ideas to concrete instances.
task achievement
Proofreading is essential. Make sure there are no grammatical errors, typos, or awkward phrases. For instance, ensure that words like 'unfamiliar' are spelled correctly, and phrases like 'think of anything can do' are appropriately structured as 'think they can do anything'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have made a balanced argument considering both advantages and disadvantages of studying away from home, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The inclusion of a personal example is commendable; it reflects an attempt to connect personal experience with the broader topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.