Nowadays, schools in various parts of the world report that students tend to have behavioural problems. Unfortunately, this will make it harder for schools to educate students as problematic behaviours are likely to interfere with the education process.
In recent times, there have been many problems that teachers suffer from student
behaviour
. Social media
and bad relationships are the main causes of this
issue. This
essay will outline the main causes of student behaviour
and what is the best solution to reduce this
bad behaviour
.
To begin
, social media
platforms have a vital role in student's attitudes. Many students
watch violent videos or games that have a negative impact on their behaviour
. For example
, the result conducted at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of students
who are Undisciplined spend a long time
on social media
. Another cause is the bad relationship in the classroom. Engaging students
in bad relationships can lead to an increase in the risk of their attitude. For instance
, my cousin has a friend who usually tries to harm other people , unfortunately he imitates him all the time
. So,friendships promote the relation and it is important to choose the right friend.
To address this
problem, parental guidance is the most important solution. They have the priority to advise their children to invest their time
and contact only with good friends in the classroom. Another great idea is implementing stricter laws to manage this
problem.
In conclusion, both spending a lot of time
on social media
and building bad relationships contribute to an increase in the bad behaviour
of students
. However
, parents should work hard to change this
problem . I think that awareness of the negative impact is an essential thing.Submitted by 13570581 on
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clarity
Enhance the clarity of your main points. Each paragraph should explicitly state a main point and then provide supporting details or examples that elaborate on it. This will make your argument more powerful.
structure
Work on better structuring your essay. An ideal structure should logically flow from one point to another. Consider using clear topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
examples
Expand on relevant specific examples. The examples provided are a good start, but they can be more detailed and connected directly to your arguments.
introduction/conclusion
Enhance the introduction to better outline what the essay will cover, and ensure a more comprehensive conclusion that not only summarizes the points but ties them back to the thesis.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and offers potential solutions.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the causes and solutions for behavioral problems effectively and gives relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Despite minor errors, the writing is generally clear and comprehensible, which makes the ideas easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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