IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Fast food industry is having negative effects on our health?Do you agree or disagree?

#food #industry #effects #health
now day fast
food
 become
ver
Correct your spelling
very
show examples
 famous and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the children and
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation prefer to eat it,
eventhou
Correct your spelling
even thou
even tho
 it's unhealthy ,which is not
denible
Correct your spelling
deniable
desirable
, here
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
,going through.
this
Change preposition
In this
show examples
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 era every one busy with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 work,
some
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
time
 they may not get enough
time
 to cook for
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
,
such
Change preposition
in such
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 may
are opt
Change the verb form
opt
show examples
 for fast
food
 which can be prepared very quickly , it
tasey
Correct your spelling
tasty
tastes
 as well ,
some
Replace the word
sometime
show examples
time
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer to eat
maggi
Change the capitalization
Maggi
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am
exuosted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
 by routine
food
 ,what will be made at home daily,there are health issues
occure
Correct your spelling
occur
occurs
,it is
most
Add an article
a most
the most
show examples
 important thing to notice before eating it.
on the other hand
last
 2 decades, many
suffrening
Correct your spelling
suffering
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 obesity,
heartattack
Correct your spelling
heart attack
,
diabetis
Correct your spelling
diabetes
, and
spesialy
Correct your spelling
specially
especially
 in
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
,PCOD case
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increased ,
due to
unahalthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
food
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 like eating junk foods,if
Correct article usage
the governament
show examples
governament
Correct your spelling
government
invoves
Correct your spelling
involved
involves
 in it ,minimising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
granting
licence
Change preposition
of licence
show examples
 for
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of
food
 courts,
pramoting
Correct your spelling
promoting
 health
food
 and providing
avarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 of good nutrition from the primary school
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
 it gives more
impacy
Correct your spelling
impact
 on the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
,frequent advertisements about healthy nutrition.proper intake of
Correct your spelling
proteins
protein
protiens
Correct your spelling
proteins
 and minerals,vitamins
according to
 BMI,it should be
Correct your spelling
followed
show examples
fallowed
Correct your spelling
followed
show examples
 by with
dietisian
Correct your spelling
dietician
dietitian
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
, In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 fast and quick available foods are eating pizza
Correct word choice
and burger
show examples
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
show examples
 are
unhaelthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
,but some
time
 lack of
time
 in
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
show examples
 schedule
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 will prefer to eat ,taking health into consideration ,we must avoid junk foods.
Submitted by karuna.mk220 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: