IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely seperate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
Linking Words
 it is sometimes thought that it is a better way to do some social activity with
office's
Change noun form
office
show examples
 coworkers at
weekends
Use synonyms
 and after
company's
Change noun form
company
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
, other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is vital to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 working and social
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I consider that socialization with peers helps
people
Use synonyms
 learn more about
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and
social
Correct pronoun usage
their social
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that helping in social
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 with coworkers is really a nice thought and I agree. The reason why I agree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 statement is that workers will know each other feelings for
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 even after
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 might
be increase
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 their bonding with each other, and
this
Linking Words
 bonding will help in the company's work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, those adults who spend time
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 some social
activities
Use synonyms
 at
weekends
Use synonyms
 will helpful for society in any
hazard
Replace the word
hazardous
show examples
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a group of adults who always do social
activities
Use synonyms
 like helping other poor
people
Use synonyms
 and like that. They have always references
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 all fields and might be helpful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is often believed that it is better to
sepreate
Correct your spelling
separate
 working
life
Use synonyms
 from social
life
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that they
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 with
people
Use synonyms
 which are different in
religious
Replace the word
religion
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can not share
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 time with them to do
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of social
activities
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 busy schedule or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do some business at
weekends
Use synonyms
 for earning extra money.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 are doing
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 jobs at
weekends
Use synonyms
 to complete their goals. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinions between choosing
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
 with colleagues for social
life
Use synonyms
 or not, I think that adults stand a better chance to know their coworkers and current social issues and how to solve them together.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • supportive work environment
  • personal growth
  • diverse perspectives
  • conflicts of interest
  • professional boundaries
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • innovation
  • collaborative projects
  • hierarchy
  • authority
  • nuanced decision
  • social and cultural expectations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: