IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tools. others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of videogames outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tools #effect #videogames
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s world,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 are a matter of concern to many
people
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 regard
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 as the greatest threat especially to youngsters and adolescents
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it serves useful purposes. Personally, I firmly believe that the positive points gained from
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 outnumber the negative aspects as it helps them to improve their cognitive capacities and
also
Linking Words
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 the
level
Use synonyms
 of stress and anxiety. The advantages of
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 are numerous. The greatest privilege of
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 is improved cognitive function. In fact, there are many
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 that provoke critical thinking
such
Linking Words
 as problem-solving skills and decision-making ability.
For example
Linking Words
, puzzles or mental
games
Use synonyms
 require the player to think carefully and wisely to open the Gordian knot. Other types of popular
games
Use synonyms
 are action
games
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 some argue that these types of
games
Use synonyms
 arouse violence, they; indeed, help the player to distinguish the perilous situation and respond to them on time.
This
Linking Words
 means that their decision-making ability will be flourished
as a result
Linking Words
 of these types of
games
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 have a great positive impact on cognitive behaviour.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 can be helpful in alleviating the
level
Use synonyms
 of stress. To be more exact, not only are
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 a fun way to keep
people
Use synonyms
 entertained and released from dull everyday life but
also
Linking Words
 do they secret dopamine which is a significant hormone in the body.
For example
Linking Words
, adults who are extremely engaged in their hectic lifestyles can bring joy and happiness to their life through
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
. Fun
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
; in fact, helps the body to release a hormone called dopamine which makes
people
Use synonyms
 relieve stress.
Hence
Linking Words
,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 can play a remarkable role in a higher
level
Use synonyms
 of happiness and a lower
level
Use synonyms
 of anxiety.
To sum up
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 bring many obstacles in life;
however
Linking Words
, there are many
people
Use synonyms
 who argue
otherwise
Linking Words
. I personally, hold the view that online
games
Use synonyms
 benefit the cognitive function and the mental well-being of players.
Submitted by frishta.nz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: