It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Nowadays,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
is increasing day by day in the
wold
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
. In the near future,
old
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the old
show examples
population is increasing in some
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
. I
poine
Correct your spelling
point
opine
pointed
that
Change preposition
out that
show examples
, it is a negative development
ofr
Correct your spelling
for
of
them.
Firstly
, it is
well-kow
Correct your spelling
well-known
well-know
fact that it might occur economic depression. Most investors are
Correct article usage
the youner
show examples
youner
Correct your spelling
younger
young
generation that challenges and likes to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in new investments.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
the older generation is mainly saving money
researched
Replace the word
Research
show examples
on
people
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
revealed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the younger generation
investes
Correct your spelling
invested
invests
invest
more
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
the old.
Moreover
, Economic growth is down in the world.
Thus
, old
people
do not take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in new investments.
Seconly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, the
country
will face increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
that
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to a lack of medical
saff
Correct your spelling
staff
and health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. To
illustate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, when the
country
will try to cope will
Correct article usage
the Pandemik
show examples
Pandemik
Correct your spelling
Pandemic
outbreak,
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
older
people
tend to have higher risks than young because their body has low immunity.
Furthermore
, The doctors and medical
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
will work hard to treat
people
for their care.
Hence
,
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
face
Change the verb form
faces
show examples
manuy
Correct your spelling
many
problem
such
as health
prolem
Correct your spelling
problems
problem
. To, sum up, There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
array
Add an article
an array
show examples
of reasons for them. Having lots of older
people
in the
country
to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
and difficulty to take care of the population. Taking support of
above
Add an article
an above
the above
show examples
argument, ald
people
is not good for
country
's development. I express my opinion in old
people
can cause many problems.
Submitted by bhavendra.bhensdadia on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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