Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Many humans

use

Use synonyms

smartphones every day.

This

Linking Words

is because they need phones for many purposes

such

Linking Words

as studying, gaming or

Use synonyms

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

while

Linking Words

I think

this

Linking Words

is a positive change because of

convinience

Correct your spelling

convenience

. Some

children

Use synonyms

use

Use synonyms

smartphones. They spend their free time. Nowadays, with the unprecedented development of the

internet

Use synonyms

. Social media is the most common reason

gaming

Change preposition

for gaming

show examples

, online videos and other forms.

Then

Linking Words

some

children

Use synonyms

watch videos and play games. Other

children

Use synonyms

profit

Replace the word

for profitable

show examples

things. They learn a lot of online lessons.

In social

Change preposition

Social

show examples

media has got online shops. If you want clothes, shoes and

accessory

Fix the agreement mistake

accessories

show examples

. Many

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

use

Use synonyms

smartphones for

intagram

Correct your spelling

Instagram

, YouTube and

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

. They post on Instagram or watch videos, chatting with friends. They show

Replace the word

off

show examples

their cars, houses and brand clothes. Nowadays humans earn

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

social media.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

they earn

money

Use synonyms

by using online stores or various sites. Nowadays you can earn more

money

Use synonyms

from

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

but it is much better than

government

Add an article

a government

show examples

job. You can't be bored with the phone and the

Internet

Use synonyms

. The

down side

Correct your spelling

downside

show examples

of using too much is that it hurts the eyes. And it brings other diseases.

For example

Linking Words

in somnia

Correct your spelling

insomnia

show examples

and headaches. Seeing rich

people

Use synonyms

on the

Internet

Use synonyms

makes him bored with his life. Because Rich

people

Use synonyms

put all kinds of expensive cars and houses on their Instagram page. There are

people

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who spend more than half of the day on the phone.It is not good to

use

Use synonyms

more than the norm. It is very great if the phone is used for a good purpose. Young

people

Use synonyms

are creating news on social networks. They are making a lot of

money

Use synonyms

without difficulty through social networks. Young

children

Use synonyms

are learning languages through the YouTube social network

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Provide a brief overview of the essay's main points in your introduction. This will give the reader a clear sense of direction.

logical structure

Ensure that each paragraph supports and develops a single main idea. Linking sentences too closely to unrelated points can reduce clarity.

logical structure

Improve paragraph transitions to help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. Use linking phrases and words such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'However.'

relevant specific examples

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, instead of vaguely mentioning that children use smartphones for studying, mention specific educational apps or programs they might use.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay underscores the convenience and various functionalities of smartphones, which is a relevant and contemporary observation.

supported main points

The conclusion recognizes a balanced view by identifying both positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage, which shows a nuanced understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Many people believe that modern technology has brought people together but other say it has driven us apart. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

The main purpose of a university is to provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed for students to get a good job. To what extent do you agree?