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Writing Samples
Band 6

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. Discuss the effects lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world #effects #lack #nature
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It is a strong argument that
while
 our life has gotten busier than before, many young people tend to stay indoors and they do not have enough time in
nature
, which leads to negative impacts on their growth. I will cover the effects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 circumstance in
this
 essay. First of all, a lack of opportunities to bring youngsters to wildlife environments may cause a lack of understanding of global issues, including endangered species and deforestation. These issues require more awareness from society, especially minors who need to take a lead in the future to make the situation better. If the importance of natural ecosystems is not comprehended by
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
, more and more endangered species will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be reported and eventually
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 numerous
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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species will be extinguished from the Earth.
Secondly
, experience with
nature
 brings about huge positive influences on teenagers. There is evidence that getting fresh air in
nature
 can improve the quality of
sleeping
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sleep
show examples
 and reduce stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. In modern days, mental diseases have become serious problems.
Therefore
, some measures to deal with their stress are indispensable and outdoor exercise,
such
 as hiking and cycling, would be
super efficient
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super-efficient
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.
However
, if children do not know the value of
nature
, they will prefer staying home rather than
exposuring
Correct your spelling
exposing
 themselves to the natural environment.
To conclude
,
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 busy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 has reduced
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 experience
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nature
 for
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
, which leads to drawbacks as they grow up. I believe that children should learn the value of
nature
 and global issues
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
to avoid these drawbacks.
Submitted by nanamach87 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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