There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#laws #people #photographs #celebrities #children

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There is no doubt that

under aged

Add a hyphen

under-aged

show examples

youngsters ,

esepecially

Correct your spelling

especially

the famous ones, should be protected from

prevert

Correct your spelling

prevent

pervert

individuals

Use synonyms

by putting laws

for

Change preposition

show examples

not taking any

pictures

Use synonyms

of them. Personally, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion, because if taking

pictures

Use synonyms

of young celebrities were banned, how will they continue as famous

individuals

Use synonyms

Change the punctuation

show examples

The main reason why I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement

because

Add a missing verb

is because

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although

Linking Words

protecting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous youngsters is

essential

Add an article

an essential

the essential

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thing for their safety, the idea of making someone famous is

with

Change preposition

show examples

making him popular throw his

Photos

Use synonyms

to make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

recognizing

Wrong verb form

recognise

show examples

him as an icon , especially if he was an actor.

Moreover

Linking Words

, young celebrities can get benefits from

this

Linking Words

like increasing their chances of getting popular from a young age and having

a wonderful personal

Correct the article-noun agreement

a wonderful personal photo

wonderful personal photos

show examples

photos

Use synonyms

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

photographers.Take ,

for example

Linking Words

, my little brother

were

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was

show examples

famous for his visuals but have not got a chance to make himself more popular, but one day some

photos

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of my brother from one of his fans got

explode

Wrong verb form

exploded

show examples

in people's feeds on social media which

opend

Correct your spelling

opened

opens

open

the doors of brand deals with him from that time.

However

Linking Words

, no one can deny the fact that there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some

preverts

Correct your spelling

perverts

prevents

out there who are searching for these

Photos

Use synonyms

satisfay

Correct your spelling

satisfy

their feelings of lust.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

pedophiles

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paedophiles

show examples

take these

Photos

Use synonyms

themselves from inappropriate

angels

Correct your spelling

angles

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, many young

celebrities's

Remove the s

celebrities'

show examples

photos

Use synonyms

, specifically

prevert

Correct your spelling

prevent

pervert

pictures

Use synonyms

, in the UK are sold online in some privet

account

Fix the agreement mistake

accounts

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without them knowing.

Thus

Linking Words

regime

Add an article

the regime

show examples

must put rules and fees for these kinds of photographers to prevent them from spreading or even from being there in the first place.

To conclude

Linking Words

, taking

photos

Use synonyms

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

famous

individuals

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

part of their life as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

Use synonyms

individuals

Correct the article-noun agreement

individual

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most of the time, but when it

is comes

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

pictures

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young ones,

then

Linking Words

it must be under strict rules so that they can be protected from the

pedophiles

Change the spelling

paedophiles

show examples

out there.

Submitted by fftaif73 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Incessant media attention
Right to privacy
Detrimental effect
Exploitation and misuse
Formidable deterrent
Positive example
Regulating the actions
Digital footprint
Unauthorized sharing
Mental health
Paparazzi
Celebrities' children
Legal protection
Psychological impact

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There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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