Some people think the government should spend more money on public services rather than waste money on arts (i.e. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #government #money #services #waste #arts #e #music

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Few Individuals believe that authorities should allocate more budget to improving public services.

However

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, spending public funds on the arts. I totally agree with

this

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statement as

education

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and

infrastructure

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are equally important

as well as

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providing

food

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and clean water should be the first priority for them. To commence with, promoting arts is

also

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equally essential to people. To explicate, If folks need to know about their culture and traditions they won't be able to see it as a lack of government interest .

Moreover

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, the citizens of every nation have a right to know about the culture and to explore their areas of interest.

On the contrary

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, the Authority should invest more in public sectors

such

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education

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and

infrastructure

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In other words

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, focusing on those two things is our future, without

education

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, humans will not be able to perform extraordinary things. To

further

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illustrate, a survey conducted by NASA a renowned space agency indicates that focusing on developing

infrastructure

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and providing essential

education

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is more important than giving a budget for music and films.

Furthermore

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, In many nations, a huge amount of people do not have clean water or enough

food

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. To explain, there are so many countries that do not have basic needs to provide for their citizens, and

due to

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that they should fix those issues first.

For Instance

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, recently I read an article about poverty in many African nations, In which they explain how

food

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and a roof over a family's head are essential

Instead

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of promoting music and paintings and many African nations do not have them.

To conclude

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although

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folks will be able to explore their culture

while

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following arts and painting, yet I believe that allocating more budget to improve the quality of

education

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and

infrastructure

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as well as

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providing

food

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and clean water should be the first priority by any government.

Submitted by birenp046 on Wed Jul 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure all sentences in the introduction are clear and form a complete statement. Currently, the second sentence is a fragment and should be joined with the first to improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

Expand the conclusion to summarize the main points more effectively, ensuring it ties back clearly to the introduction and main body of the essay.

task achievement

Provide a bit more depth to each argument with additional specific examples or elaboration to improve the overall comprehensiveness of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear structure with a logical flow from one point to another, which aids in readability and understanding.

task achievement

The arguments about education, infrastructure, and basic needs are pertinent and well-chosen to support your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

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Some people think the government should spend more money on public services rather than waste money on arts (i.e. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The problem of homelessness is on the rise in several significant urban centers globally. What is the main cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it by communities and governments?

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix the problem.

A poor infrastructure hinders under developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree?