Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Issues related to
and cultural cooperation among
are frequently discussed these days. Some
believe that there are many positive developments from cooperating with other
in terms of
and culture,
others think that
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Correct subject-verb agreement
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to be negative effects in case the identity of a nation is lost. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be examined before a conclusion is reached. On the one hand, it is undeniable that
cooperation between
can increase dramatically economic growth.
In other words
, when a nation's economy is developed, the country has a huge income, and as a ,result the government can improve fundamental factors for their
as transportation, infrastructure, and health care centres,
as well as
having a good quality of life.
, traditional and cultural exchange will be supplemented the personal development which implement ideas and technologies from foreign
to boost potential humans.
On the other hand
, many
are concerned that
cooperation can lead to the loss of national identity. To explain, there are many significant drawbacks to the partnership of
and culture
as marriage ideas. Take Thailand
for example
, a wedding before living together as spouse and wife is an identity of Thai culture.
idea might be changed when having contact with
in different
. In conclusion, even though the two opinions have both benefits and drawbacks, I strongly believe that the advantages of
argument outweigh the disadvantages
due to
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mentioned above.
Submitted by pt.pinyapat on

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task response
The essay does not fully respond to the prompt. It lacks a clear discussion of both views and the writer's opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows some coherence in its structure, but improvement is needed in the use of linking words and the overall flow of ideas.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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