As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Globalization is driving changes in social functions

such

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as human communication and how the public

use

Correct subject-verb agreement

uses

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transportation. From

this

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situation, I firmly agree that there are several benefits to

people

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living in a community

that is

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moving forward to multicultural; even though, some

people

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might

aware

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be aware

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of the total loss of cultural identity.

To begin

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with, globalization is how

society

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keeps developing all sectors in parallel

such

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as business, education, tradition, and so on.

This

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is because the population boom leads to community expansion and

people

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start to relocate, so the exchange among different cultures commences.

Consequently

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such

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a cross-culture circumstance can eventually make individuals learn a variety of traditions or norms, which

people

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in the multi-national

society

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can get along well and respect each other ways

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apply

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lifestyle and thoughts.

In addition

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, the movement of mass immigration probably mitigates a worse situation in economic flow in the areas that are out of the city.

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, adventurers find a faraway island as a low-cost living place

that is

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suitable for their retired life. The island

then

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becomes more lively and packed and

this

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is a plus for local entrepreneurs.

On the other hand

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, the opposite view is that cultural identity will

lose

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be lost

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. Modernization can bring outer influences to local residents.

This

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phenomenon can

cause

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affect

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how

people

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behave.

For example

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, traditional foods and

artifacts

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artefacts

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might be replaced by contemporary or modern trends, and an existing culture is less preserved. In summary, I strongly insist that the advantages of globalization like multicultural

society

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and the potential progress of developing cities can make

overall

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society

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move forward to a better future.

pookiekw1997Sat Apr 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

You need to improve the introduction and conclusion. They should clearly present the topic and your viewpoint. Also, ensure that each paragraph supports your main points with relevant examples and ideas. The logical structure of the essay must be improved to enhance the flow of ideas.

task achievement

You have identified the benefits and drawbacks of globalization but need to ensure that your viewpoint on the impact of globalization on cultural identity is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay. Your examples and ideas should directly relate to the impact of globalization on cultural identity. Additionally, you should aim for a more comprehensive response to the task, covering all aspects of the statement in the prompt.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

269 words

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