Due to a more sedentary lifestyle, children in developed nations have higher levels of obesity compared to previous generations. What problems does this cause and what are the possible solutions?

In developed countries, children have been suffering from higher levels of obesity compared to their previous ancestors
due to
a more sedentary lifestyle. The primary problems of
this
phenomenon are the level of health decrease day-by-day
as well as
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
in different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
diseases
and the most viable solutions are to educate people and make them aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
. Countries in North America and Europe have developed a habit of sedentary lifestyles.
That is
to say that their lifestyles involve consuming a plethora of fast food on a daily basis because of their hectic schedules.
This
result in a bad habit for their body and the chances of
diseases
like diabetes, high blood pressure, and other cardiovascular
diseases
increase rapidly. Another problem is that they feel lazy all day
due to
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
obesity and cannot do their work actively. A
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
solutions to these predicaments are to educate young people about the dangers of consuming junk food
as well as
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
obesity. The government should introduce a law for awareness of young people and have made the education of secretary lifestyle compulsory.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
it can announce public awareness
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
about the benefit of active and healthy lifestyles.
For instance
, the government of India, recently, introduced a campaign for promoting the benefits of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet and how to tackle deadly
diseases
. In conclusion, children in developed nations are more obese than previous generations because they consume more fast food and
also
depend more on technology and so they should
taught
Change the verb form
be taught
teach
show examples
about
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
of these and should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet.
Submitted by u13.1outlook on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • developed nations
  • health conditions
  • diabetes
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • hypertension
  • psychological impact
  • self-esteem
  • depression
  • mental health issues
  • bullying
  • social isolation
  • academic performance
  • school absenteeism
  • healthcare systems
  • financial strain
  • medical treatments
  • interventions
  • physical activities
  • nutritional education
  • healthy eating habits
  • balanced diets
  • policy implementation
  • junk food advertising
  • nutritious food options
  • screen time
  • parental involvement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: