Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on health and the society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is true that the usage of cell phones has been rising nowadays even though it causes damaging troubles to our health and society. Some people believe that the

government

Use synonyms

should take action by restricting users of cell phones to address the problem. I personally agree with

this

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idea and I will outline the reasons in the following essay. There are several main reasons why it would be argued that the

government

Use synonyms

should not interfere in

such

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issues.

Firstly

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, owners of the devices have the right to decide how they are using them and the

government

Use synonyms

has no right to establish related laws.

Secondly

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, it is not scientifically proven that mobile phones do irreversible harm to our health. It is undeniable that radio waves somehow affect our brains and nerves, but devices

such

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as wifi machines, microwaves and hairdryers

also

Linking Words

produce the high intensity of radio waves that may cause

huger

Correct word choice

greater

show examples

damage to our health.

However

Linking Words

, I would agree with those who believe the

government

Use synonyms

should take steps towards the restriction of mobile phone owners to those who need them for work. Nowadays, company owners often expect employees to reply to messages instantly since the increasing rate of mobile phone ownership has become a common trend. Workers are bombarded with information even after working hours.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, blue light on digital devices affects people's sleep and contributes to poor eyesight. Recent research has shown that blue light messes with people's body abilities and causes insomnia. Those who

expose

Wrong verb form

are exposed

show examples

to excessive blue light generally suffer from sleeping disorders. In conclusion, I believe that both sides of the argument have merits.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I believe various measures can be taken by the

government

Use synonyms

minor

Verb problem

minimise

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the risk.

qwertyuiop9420Sat Apr 15 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that each body paragraph relates directly to the prompt and clearly supports the writer's position. Be mindful of developing all aspects of the argument and addressing any potential counterarguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use clear transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay and to show the connections between ideas within and between paragraphs. Make sure the introduction and conclusion clearly present the writer's position and summarize the main points of the essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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