IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
Nowadays, young people are pushed to take a gap
year
 once they finish high school, just before going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university.
This
 essay will examine
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of the above scenario and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of the
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
 “sabbatical”
year
 or
period
 are getting the chance to just
resting
Wrong verb form
rest
show examples
, before starting university studies, and having the opportunity to find out
new
Change preposition
about new
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 or places
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 around the world. I clearly remember the latter
time
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school, I was literally devastated and I would
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
time
 to take a long nap on the sofa and money to devote
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 travelling
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the most beautiful islands on earth.
However
, the sabbatical
year
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
also
 some relevant drawbacks as
firstly
, even just wasting
time
 and
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 the chance to do something productive for the community and for oneself and,
secondly
, pushing families to face extra costs for a long
period
 of
time
. I specifically remember the
period
 once finished
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school: I was really focused and projected on training for the entry exam of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college; a lot of friends spent
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching tv or playing summer sports at the beach,
in other words
 doing nothing at all.
To conclude
, there are evident advantages and disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working or travelling for a
year
 just before starting university studies, as resting, or coming across to other cultures on the benefits side or wasting
time
 and pushing parents to have extra costs for a long
period
 on the drawbacks side. I sincerely believe that the gap
year
’s benefits outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by nicolavistoli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: