Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,
people
buy things like stationaries, airfare and other home items
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, which is undeniably on-trend. I would argue that
although
this
may predispose to serious physical problems to
people
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
the convenience and
time
it saves outweigh
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
disadvantages. It cannot be denied that the advancement of technology
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
alleviate
Change the verb form
alleviates
show examples
the life of many
people
. Albeit, the lack of physical activity can cause
a debilitating
Correct the article-noun agreement
debilitating health issues
a debilitating health issue
show examples
health
issues since a person will be no longer physically active.
According to
studies
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
American
Correct article usage
the American
show examples
health
association towards the effect of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
on
on
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
human
health
, 85% of
people
are purchasing online, 35% develop obesity that some
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had
Add the particle
tohad
show examples
develop diseases because of their inactivity
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
accounted
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
premature deaths. Even though the negative effect is alarming but the positive contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is more variable.
Although
I acknowledge the merit of the cons,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
the extent of the pros is invaluable for two
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
.
Firstly
, convenience, anywhere
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
own comfort with the help of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and a tap of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
button, orders can
be place
Change the verb form
be placed
show examples
and
deliver
Wrong verb form
delivered
show examples
at your own
peace
Correct your spelling
pace
show examples
.
Furthermore
, it saves
time
, rather than
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
around and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
for the things needs at home like buying groceries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and commuting to
other place
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
to get the book you wanted or booked
a
Change the article
an
show examples
air ticket, these all efforts and
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
time
can
be save
Change the verb form
be saved
show examples
and divert to
other important event
Change the wording
another important event
other important events
show examples
in your life
such
as spending quality
time
with your children, spouse or partner. In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of online buying outweigh the disadvantages.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
I recognized the effects on human
health
, the convenience and the
time
you can spend on another important thing in life
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
priceless.
Submitted by lsc_00000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: