Young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree?

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It is undeniable that nowadays

youngsters

Use synonyms

use their spare time in malls, which is believed to affect negatively individuals and the community. I partially agree with

such

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a point of view because even though

this

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type of leisure activity enables

youngsters

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to set up new relationships,

this

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behaviour can harm youths’ academic performance. On the one hand, having leisure

activities

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such

Linking Words

as strolls in the

mall

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creates an atmosphere that helps boys and girls to strengthen bonds, as it enables unique special moments

while

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teens enjoy cinema, arcade and other

activities

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offered in

this

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place,

therefore

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

experience brings memorable moments that are paramount in relationships.

For example

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, it is known that when

youngsters

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go to a shopping

mall

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to share positive experiences with their family and friends, they will feel able to trust their ties, which leads to a more confident and strengthened bond.

On the other hand

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, spending many hours inside malls

instead

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of doing some school

activities

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can probably affect teens’ knowledge and grades at school, because

this

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behaviour can easily distract

youngsters

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from study preparation,

consequently

Linking Words

, they will be affected in their adult achievements.

For instance

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, it has been proven that 5 out of 10 teenagers in Brazil are not capable

Linking Words

to conclude

Change preposition

of concluding

show examples

the school year after have poor educational achievements, because of the lack of preparation caused by the period spent in a shopping

mall

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, which will probably result in an unemployed and non-qualified employer.

To conclude

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, I do believe that even though spending time doing some

mall

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activities

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can be useful in relationships,

this

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type of leisure activity can jeopardize educational performance.

However

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, a

such

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balance needs to be made individually, as each person has their own personality and perspectives on life.

Submitted by Nayara on Sat Apr 15 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and cohesion. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, and use linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

Task Achievement

The response covers the main points of the question, but the ideas could be more fully developed and the argument could be more balanced. Provide a more comprehensive analysis of both the positive and negative effects of spending free time in shopping malls.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail outlets
consumerism
advertising
local businesses
neighborhood communities
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
socialize
amenities
economic growth
cultural homogenization
ecological footprint
entertainment
trends
brand loyalty
spending habits
mall culture
local shops
health implications
job opportunities
tourism
consumer debt
environmental impact
energy consumption
waste generation

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Young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now.

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countriyside is decreasing. Do you think it is a positie or nagative development?

Some people think that University degree is needed for good profession while others believe that experiences plays the key role, so people should go work straight after school.