IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some feel that movies and TV shows are a good way to study history despite their lack of historical accuracy at times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #movies #tv #study #history #lack #accuracy #times
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some assert that films and television
programs
 are good resources to learn
history
 in spite of their lack of historical accuracy at times. I strongly believe
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 belief for two reasons.
Firstly
, these
programs
 are likely to have some entertainments, which makes
people
 get interested in
history
 and
secondly
,
such
 resources provide a wide range of perspectives from
history
 experts, which
people
 usually cannot gain through textbooks or visiting museums. The primary reason I agree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 view is that
programs
 in films and television tend to encourage individuals to get interested in the area.
This
 is simply because these explain
history
 with
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
. By way of an example,
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 on numerous TV
programs
 are basically created with some interesting storytelling.
According to
 an article in the Asahi Shimbun newspaper published
last
 month,
due to
 the
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 on the show, many
people
 got excited and curious about the
history
. Some of them
also
 mentioned that they began to search
further
Change preposition
for further
show examples
 information to have a deep understanding of historical materials.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
 watching
such
 shows is a fundamental step for individuals to start learning
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Further
 support for my perspective is that many are capable of gaining a wider range of ideas and thoughts from experts, which they might not
in
Add a missing verb
have in
show examples
history
 textbooks.
This
 obviously provides them with a good opportunity to absorb varied opinions. Because of
this
 environment, some might establish their own perspectives. In fact, research recently conducted by The University of Tokyo discovered that one of the most effective methods to have a well-rounded understanding of the subject is building their own point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
.
In other words
, gathering different views could
also
 promotes
people
 to dive into the subject. In conclusion, I firmly agree that movies and TV shows are
Add an article
a favorable
the favorable
show examples
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
approach
Change the noun form
approaches
show examples
 to studying
history
 because of their entertainment and the availability of accessing many ideas from
history
 professionals even though they sometimes do not provide accurate information.
Submitted by ryohei.1015.golf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: