In some countries it is traditional for men to work and for women to stay at home to look after the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era,
while
there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons about some traditions that men who only responsible for household expenses and housewives take care of their children , it leads to intriguing arguments and broadens a person's horizon . In my opinion , I believe that women play a crucial performance in the upbringing of their children,
however
, I do not fully agree with the fact that men should be the only ones working in a household , and I am going to put forth my ideas in
this
essay. At the outset , one of the key factors and advantages of my point of view t is mothers have outstanding techniques and ways of looking after their family rather than fathers .
Moreover
, it must be pointed out that wives are the best
monitor
Fix the agreement mistake
monitors
show examples
of their infants during education stages, and it would
also
keep the home well-arranged and clean .
For instance
, a recent article published in Scientific American revealed that almost 80% of the success of pupils is based on the aspect of wives who devote themselves to teaching their youngsters.
Therefore
, the discourse proved that a large part of a family's success depends on housewives.
On the other hand
, one of the primary disadvantages of unemployed ladies is the onus of household expenses falls on the fathers .
Furthermore
, it is noteworthy that girls should share in day-to-day fees , and males should participate in housework.
In addition
to
this
, it would be beneficial
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
mothers should contribute to our society with their efforts and experiences.
For example
, the latest studies stated that in some fields females have surpassed men
such
as medicine and nursing section , because of their talent and skills .
Thus
, the previous ideas showed how worker women play a pivotal act in society.
To conclude
, I hold the conclusive proof , which has been outlined above , that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages , and
hence
I strongly believe that women play an essential role either as housewives or as employees and the onus of the family should be shared between males and females.
Submitted by mohammedgameil119 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a response to the prompt, but the arguments lack coherence and clarity in some areas. More focused and structured paragraphs would improve the overall clarity of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Using cohesive devices and linking words more effectively would enhance the coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional roles
  • gender roles
  • household management
  • child rearing
  • emotional well-being
  • financial stability
  • productivity
  • gender inequality
  • personal growth
  • professional growth
  • economic dependency
  • skill atrophy
  • social isolation
  • job prospects
  • personal fulfillment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: