The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in the other countries

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The bar chart illustrated data about three issues including

language

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, accommodation and friendship that immigrants between 18 and over 55 face when start living in other societies.

Overall

Linking Words

, the biggest problem among the community of adolescents and adults is making friends with a percentage of 46%.

Although

Linking Words

language

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is the most demanding challenge among the public over 55 with an incidence of 54%. As the chart indicated, learning a new

language

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was the least challenging subject for the immigrants between 18 and 34 years old with approximately 30%

while

Linking Words

for about one-third of the population between 35 and 54 and more than half of those over 55 was problematic.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, housing and making friends have more similar percentages among these groups. As 40% of the group between 18 and 34 had difficulty finding a suitable place for living, 46% of them had a problem with friendships. Despite a challenging matter in

language

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for the elderly, they had the least trouble in place and making friends which was respectively 22% and 23%.

nooshinhabibinejadSun Apr 16 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

174 words

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The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in the other countries

Nowadays tourism generates a significant part of national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will examine the advantage and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.

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