The government should spend more money on railways than on roads. That do you think about this?

In the contemporary era, one of the major problems for governments is traffic because of the increasing the number of population on Earth so powers need to manage funds for it.
Therefore
, some people believe that politicians should spend more money on railways than roads. I will support
this
attitude and will give some ideas regarding
this
issue in
this
essay.
Firstly
, metropolitan cities
whole
Rephrase
all
show examples
around the world
such
as New York or London
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
congestion difficulty, In order that, people prefer to use their own cars because of mobility and it made a transportation obstacle ,especially at rush hours. The powers will assign funds to solve
this
barrier, so experts designed the rail lines to help
for reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
the density on the roads.
Hence
, not only do companies use the trans for transforming a piece of heavy equipment ,especially for long distances but they
also
utilize it for their business trips or family vacations
so
Change preposition
apply
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which can reduce the traffic on the roads. In the same way, new generation lines are
so
Rephrase
more
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environmentally friendly than cars. The electronic engine is the trans power source but,
on the contrary
, the majority of cars' usage is liquid fuels
such
as petrol.so, if authoritarian can encourage society
for using
Change preposition
to use
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the railways
instead
their
Correct word choice
of their
show examples
own car,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can decrease air pollution and congestion too.
Furthermore
, trans has given confidence and speed in one pack,
for instance
not only
Japan's
Add a missing verb
did Japan's
show examples
modern line technology break top speed by 450km on the grand but it
also
showed the high quality of confidence along a long trip between cities. In conclusion, power should spend more money on rail lines than reads. Because, trains are friendly and decline pollution,
moreover
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
could mix high speed and comfortability in one plan regarding wonderful design.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and related to the task. Additionally, the logical structure of the essay should be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant supporting points. However, there is room for improvement in presenting clear and comprehensive ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
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