IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Tell us about one or two times where you have utilised your problem solving skills to achieve an outcome.

#two #times #skills #outcome
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In terms of my problem-solving skill, I actually utilised the skill when I worked in my first workplace. I launched my career at Kumagaya boys high
school
Use synonyms
, which used to be one of the most academic schools in Japan.
However
Linking Words
, as
achievements
Correct article usage
the achievements
show examples
 of the
school
Use synonyms
 got worse year by year, the
school
Use synonyms
 lost its reputation. When I was appointed to the
school
Use synonyms
, it seemed to me that the
teachers
Use synonyms
 lacked
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
 to endeavour and reach students’ full potential.
Then
Linking Words
 I first attempted to define the problem. I shortly recognised that the
school
Use synonyms
 motto that educational activities should rely on students’ decisions didn’t fit the real situation. Compared to the past, the students were less independent,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
teachers
Use synonyms
 did not change their teaching styles over time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I thought the
teachers
Use synonyms
 should involve themselves
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 students’ activities more. Afterwards, I encouraged some of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
 to do so together, which definitely enhanced
Use synonyms
school’s
Correct article usage
the school’s
show examples
 mood and students could spend their
school
Use synonyms
 life more comfortably.
This
Linking Words
 practice rapidly spread through the teacher team. Of course, I could not analyse accurately how
this
Linking Words
 practice influenced the students’ activities but indeed the students after I came to the
school
Use synonyms
 made more successful achievements than they used to be. I learned that if you face some difficulties it may be vital to identify the root cause of the problem, brainstorm potential solutions to address the identified root cause, implement the chosen solution and monitor the outcomes logically in the end.
Submitted by T Shiro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: