IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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It is sometimes argued that governments should allocate money to
railways
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instead
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 of
roads
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.
While
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 I disagree the former can be abandoned, I do believe the latter deserves a huge amount of money. Funds should go to
railways
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 because there is a huge demand for them.
In addition
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, every member of society, including students, tourists, businessmen and so on needs them.
Due to
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 the well-designed
railways
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, tourists can travel around the country, which can contribute a lot to the economy. Businessmen transport goods everywhere through
railways
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, which runs the country smoothly. If there were not for
this
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 pivotal public service, our country would be underdeveloped and our society would go back to ancient times.
Therefore
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,
railways
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 need to be designed and built carefully. I do argue that
roads
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 need funds for a range of factors.
Firstly
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, they lead to a high employment rate. If there were no
roads
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, the job of drivers would not exist, and the restaurants for them would disappear.
This
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 would result in a dramatic decline in the rate.
Secondly
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, the connection of
roads
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 and
railways
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 will make transportation desirable. Those residents living far away from the rail station can resort to nothing but the road to take the train.
Finally
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, a majority of people need the system. Driving the car to get some necessities emerges as an integral part of our life. So,
roads
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 should be given great importance, too. In conclusion, the government should spend more money on the railway and the
roads
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.
Submitted by ysh424 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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