Many people around the world use social media day to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #events #development

Nowadays, social media is a driving factor in the progress of the public in every aspect. A number of dwellers in the world consider assisting people in getting access to the Internet as an effective way through which connection among residents

as well as

between them and new events can remain in the long run.

While

this

development may bring about some drawbacks, I would argue, that are overshadowed by the benefits. On the one hand, social networks are gradually dropping social interaction, and bring along information complex. In an extreme instance, when citizens hope to report in terms of other individuals, they will put the related information on social media.

Similarly

, other communities give content and comment on the post, which causes direct conversation to become limited.

Moreover

, holes in tech appear to be obvious to be seen once citizens are impersonated by cyber-criminals, and attached to defraud money for people.

Consequently

, digital publishing has a disadvantage, which is an element

Correct pronoun usage

that effect

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effect

Correct your spelling

affects

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apply

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society in the aspect of morality and reduces life quality.

On the other hand

, telecommunication platforms are a method to support the public to save time and grasp an event. For illustrates, Facebook has a spreading feature, and approach to clients quickly.

Besides

, which has combined with messenger apps, help users can connect with friends. Another point to discuss is that social networks are an appointment reminder trait for people, which will establish a time and note more problems. When a meeting date is coming up, it will remind the users. One can see

this

is a feature bringing more benefits.

However

, interconnected platforms have positive effects on society, communication, and humans in person.

Therefore

, we can carry out scheduled activity, and come into being responsible living habits. For the reasons mentioned above, I recognize online media is an invention of humanity based on the internet. In my personal viewpoint, telecommunication terraces have more advantages and disadvantages, but they increase the accuracy rate of information.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Mon May 06 2024

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Linking

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Supporting Examples

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Grammar & Clarity

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion were both present and effectively set up and summarized your essay's main points.

Balanced Argument

You provided a balanced view on the topic, considering both the advantages and disadvantages before stating your opinion. This is excellent for task response.

Task Understanding

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people around the world use social media day to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sports on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion?

Prison is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree ?