IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that schools should teach foreign languages for primary school children. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#people #schools #languages #school #children
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Language
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 is one of the primary skills that a person can acquire. A group of
people
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 claim that teaching an additional
language
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 to the kids at the preliminary schools should be implemented. I personally believe that an opportunity to learn a new
language
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 can generate
multitude
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a multitude
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 of benefits which can overshadow its ramifications
on
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for
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 youngsters. First and foremost, developing a new foreign
language
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 is an important skill that can generate dozens of positive results, helping children to communicate with outsiders.
Furthermore
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,
the
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apply
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language
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 has always been an impediment, hindering
people
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 from engaging
face-to-face
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in face-to-face
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 interactions.
Therefore
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, teaching juveniles different languages at primary schools will allow them to bypass these barriers,
morph
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and morph
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 into a successful future candidate.
Moreover
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, the journey to develop a new
language
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 skill is a captivating, yet perpetual repetition of unique processes which fuel their hunger towards learning. Another benefit of having a primary school
language
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 education is that it
enlargens
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enlarges
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 children's brain capacity by
continiously
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continuously
 learning new words and grammar.
For instance
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,
people
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 are prone to pick things up more expediently
while
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 they are young and fresh in mind,
hence
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, it is more advantageous to
absorbing
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absorb
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 a new
language
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 at primary schools. It is worth noting that enhancing foreign
language
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 proficiency seeks dedication and
persistency
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persistence
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 skills and mastering
this
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 skill can
also
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 be weaponized by children to achieve many triumphs with future
endavours
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endeavours
 just by replicating it. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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 might perceive a second
language
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overwhelming
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as overwhelming
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 to
the
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apply
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schoolers, it is my own contention that adding a foreign
language
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 class
in
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to
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primary
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the primary
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 school syllabus can only deliver positive results.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion with a logical progression of ideas. Use topic sentences effectively to introduce main points and appropriate linking words to enhance coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Expand on the main points with more specific examples and evidence to support your argument. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that the connection between your ideas is clear to strengthen the essay's cohesion.
Task Achievement
Clearly address the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic to ensure a complete response. While your essay leans towards the advantages, inclusion of some disadvantages with rebuttals would make the argument more balanced.
Task Achievement
Use a wide range of vocabulary and structures to present clear and comprehensive ideas. Be concise and make sure that each sentence contributes to the overall argument or description.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to illustrate the points being made. Examples can be drawn from real-world situations, hypothetical scenarios, studies or statistics to strengthen the essay's arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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