Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

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Many people think that becoming famous is really interesting, but they just

saw

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

one side. In fact, celebrities

faced

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

many problems so it

wasn’t

Wrong verb form

isn’t

show examples

surprising why they are paid more than others. On the one hand, they have to deal with being in the public eye. They are always being followed by the paparazzi so they can’t have a private life.

For example

Linking Words

, they have to keep calm every time or they will get into trouble when they get mad with photographers or reporters.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the chance to become a well-known person isn’t easy, except for someone who was born with their talent. People have to work really hard and get better day by day to achieve that but sometimes they become a victim in their success. Markus Notch Person gets billions of dollars from his game, but he has to live alone for the entirety of his life.

On the other hand

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, other workers

such

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as nurses and teachers often receive low salaries. In my view, stars have to deal with more stress and they are

also

Linking Words

afraid of losing their job for just a small thing.

Besides

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, some people claim fame because their parents are already celebrities, but that can put them in danger from

kidnapper

Fix the agreement mistake

kidnappers

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or murderers.

Instead

Linking Words

of wasting their money on expensive things, they

also

Linking Words

use them for charity. In conclusion, to become famous makes their life always

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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followed, they have to get better and better every day so they have to be paid worthy of their dedication.

tamnguyen160424Mon Apr 17 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a recognizable structure, but improved paragraphing and clearer transitions between ideas will enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion should state your position more clearly and directly address the question of whether celebrities are paid too much.

coherence cohesion

While main points are generally supported, the essay lacks a range of well-developed and specifically relevant examples to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

Expand on the topic by providing more comprehensive arguments and fully responding to the task. Present both sides of the argument more evenly to increase task achievement.

task achievement

Use more specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic of celebrity pay to enhance the response's relevance and effectiveness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Your opinion

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on the other planets.some people think that it is wastage of money and government should spend more money on addressing the problems of public.To what extent do you agree? 5.0

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.