IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The pie
chart
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 manifests the employment status of those who finished the undergraduate degree courses
of
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in
show examples
 Anthropology from
given
Correct article usage
a given
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 college, and the table indicates the
pays
Fix the agreement mistake
pay
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 of the anthropologists who have five
years’
Change noun form
years
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 experience. From the provided data,
graduates
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 who participate in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full-time
work
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the major segment of
overall
Linking Words
 students, whilst private companies offer
Antrhropology
Correct your spelling
Anthropology
graduates
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 the least salaries among
overall
Linking Words
 types of occupations mentioned in the table in general. The pie
chart
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 showcasing the destinations of Anthropology
graduates
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 consists of six parts, among which full-time
work
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 is the most evident since it accounts for slightly more than half the place. The second largest portion is
graduates
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 who possessed part-time
work
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, which represents
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 15%, making it marginally higher than those unemployed by 3%. Eight out of one hundred of the pie
chart
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 is made up
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 students who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 receiving a full-time postgrad study and those not known respectively. The
graduates
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 who undertook
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
work
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while
Linking Words
 involved in
postgrad
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the postgrad
show examples
 study are the minority of the
chart
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, only
consititute
Correct your spelling
constitute
 5%. As for the table, it is apparent that the salaries of private companies are lower than the other two
catagories
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categories
. Only 30% of
overall
Linking Words
Antrhropology
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Anthropology
graduates
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 recruited by private enterprises can earn more than 100,000
dollars
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 after they worked continuously for half a decade,
whereas
Linking Words
 the income of 40%
freelance
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of freelance
show examples
 consultants and 50%
government
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of government
show examples
 sectors can reach that number under the same circumstances.
Graduates
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 in individual corporations who paid less than 75000
dollars
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also
Linking Words
 account for the highest percentage among all three careers and the precise number is 45%. Despite the subtle advantage of
government
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the government
show examples
 sector in terms of the proportion of those who have the highest earnings, the statistic suggests that the profession share the same ratio with
freelance
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the freelance
a freelance
show examples
 consultant of people with wages over 75 thousand
dollars
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,
along with
Linking Words
graduates
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 who gained more than 50000
dollars
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 but behind 75000
as well as
Linking Words
 those between 25000 and 49999, which represent 15% and 5% respectively.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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