IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today

#plans #show #park #first
The maps present information regarding the urban changes happening in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Grange
Park
 from 1920 to present moment.
overall
, what stands out is that
while
 the rose garden
along with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Arnold
avenue
Correct your spelling
Avenue
show examples
 is the only part
af
Correct your spelling
of
 the
park
 that has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained untouched through the whole time frame, the other sections of the
park
 redeveloped totally. One noticeable change is that the fountain which was positioned at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
park
 replaced by a great rose garden with some seats
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the four sides of it. Meanwhile , the stage of musicians
redeveleped
Correct your spelling
redeveloped
developed
 to an amphitheatre for concerts which is proposed for the same aim. In the top right corner of the
park
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
either side of Arnold
avenue
Correct your spelling
Avenue
show examples
, a children's playground was opened up and a new cafe is found just
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right-hand of the Arnolel
avenue
Correct your spelling
Avenue
show examples
 entrance.
In addition
 , the water feature was built in the
battom
Correct your spelling
bottom
 left corner of the
park
, just
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right side of the Eldan
street
Correct your spelling
Street
show examples
 entrance.
Also
, the map is evident that the seats and the rose garden along
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Eldon Street were removed.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: